This is the story of a girl who can best be described as a dove. She was gentle yet mannered, pleasant yet hard-working, and full of love, which gave her a fair glow that only improved with age.
The story starts early when she was pampered by her brothers and a sister for being a cute little girl in one of the richest households in a small town. This is where she learned what unconditional love really means and then used her whole life to spread it.
One way she would do that is through food. You felt her warmth through her food. Be it unique recipes like mango bhajiya or amrud chutney or though her tireless insistence on ensuring nobody in the house skips so much as a snack.
When she was sixteen, she was married off to a polar opposite personality: a tall wheatish handsome rationalist. He was everything she wasn't 'an emotional bubbly fit-in-anywhere'. And thus they completed each other perfectly. It surprises me even today how they never even saw each other before committing to a life of togetherness. and did they uphold their promise! A joint family of 12 and growing, plus an extended family of more than a 100: a family based on love, sacrifice and respect.
Apart from love she learnt something else very early : Duty. Duty for her was not rooted in any goals, that she was pursuing. It was just about action. 'What to do' and more than that 'What not to do'. It was as if duty was the goal. She had a few simply stated rules. But they were anything but simple to follow. And she followed them to a tee, throughout her life.
Can't eat food cooked outside home or that of nearest relatives. Simple to state but following it for a lifetime is something else. And this was not a rule which eased with time; with small exceptions here and there. She would prefer going thirsty rather than drinking 'bisleri' water because who knows where its made.
Cannot eat onion or garlic.
Even the rules of which involved active work were stated as 'Cannot' do. Like cannot send back a guest hungry. Cannot enter the temple without bathing. Cannot sleep without completing the garland for thakorji.
Thakorji. The foundation and culmination of all her rules.
Simply stated, Thakorji is the name given to a 'form'(swaroop) of lord krishna which is in his toddler stage of life. Capturing the innocence of krishna. Some might oversimplify this as idol worship but it was so much more.
The above rules, like not eating onions was because thakurji being a toddler doesn't like strong flavors. Cannot serve thakurji without taking a bath or after eating impure food from outside.
Cannot let thakurji sleep beyond morning time. So have to take a bath, enter the temple and wake up Thakorji with a soft bhajan 'Utho Mara Krishna Ji Thaya Ajawala...'.(wake up my dear krishna because its light outside). The toddlers at home sleeping outside the temple also woke up to this melodious bhajan, and its inscribed in their memory so deep that they cannot remember a childhood without it.
Another of her simple yet strongly held belief was that 'sharir chaltu rehvu joiye' (our body should always be working). This was complemented by her husband's belief that 'our minds should always be working'. This belief gave her a super power that no task was ever too much for her.
One day her grandson in the innocence of age 12, invited all his 'school buddies' to home for his birthday. Of course without telling anyone at home. Assuming that the kitchen automatically produces food. Grandmother was handed the task of feeding 15 hungry kids, unprepared. She could not let these kids (guest) go without food and she could not let this opportunity to shower love with food slip away. Suprise surprise! the kitchen automatically produced food after all.
This epitome of purity, love, duty, simplicity and hard work left her body to enjoy her time with her husband and Thakorji. Leaving behind a solid example for the near ones to include in their way of life.
Missing you dadiji
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